Confidence Starts at Home: The Power of Role-Playing With Your Kids
Brad Fantle
mail@bradfordvillebugle.com
Something is bothering your child, but figuring out what it is can feel like trying to crack a combination lock without the code. There are many ways to help children, but it can be challenging when you consider that a parent’s perspective is very different from that of a school-age child. What works for adults at this stage in life is not always the same for them.
Adults are used to talking with other adults and often have more experience managing conflict. To help bridge that gap, consider role-playing.
Role-playing can be an effective tool for teaching children how to handle difficult situations. Think of it as practice before a game or preparing for a speech or presentation.
Here are some steps to help ease into the process and set your child up for success:
- Start with something easy. Talk about a past situation your child handled well. Highlight what they did effectively and express your pride. Keep the mood light and fun. Think about a time they tried to persuade you of something and how determined they were. The skills they need are already there; they just need help applying them in a different way.
- Role-playing does not have to follow a script. Memorizing exact words—especially someone else’s—can be difficult. This is not acting class. Help your child express their feelings, but encourage them to use their own words. You can guide them in shaping their ideas, but let their voice lead.
- Avoid multitasking during these conversations. Parents are often cooking or doing other tasks while talking with their children. Even if you are listening, it may not show how important the conversation is. Pause what you are doing and sit down together. If you have ever asked, “Are you listening?” while your child was distracted, you understand how this feels.
- Reassure your child that role-playing and conversation skills take practice. Like a muscle, the more they are used, the stronger they become.
- Prepare your child for different outcomes. You cannot control how others respond. However, it is important to express feelings and stand up for what matters. Holding everything in is not healthy.
- It is OK to agree to disagree. Difficult conversations are not about being right or wrong, but about understanding different perspectives. The goal is to share feelings and build stronger relationships. How someone responds can also reveal how much they value the relationship—an important lesson for young people.
- Important conversations should not happen through text or email. Whenever possible, talk face to face or by phone. Tone and body language are essential for understanding and responding appropriately. Text messages cannot replace real interaction.
Be patient with your child as they learn. Role-playing takes time and practice. Parenting often involves trial and error, and building strong relationships is an ongoing process for everyone.
