By Donna Kaufman
Over the holidays we had so many customers bring in their families to show off “their bookstore.” We love seeing them enjoy browsing, chatting with one another, staying for lunch and take a few books home. You can spoil a child with many things, but not books.
When we see grownups reading to children or children reading to one another, it fills us with hope that stories are still alive, connecting us with one another in meaningful ways.
Author Harold R. Johnson once wrote, “We are all story. We are the stories we are told and we are the stories we tell ourselves.” To understand a life, look at the stories and lessons learned as children. We can reflect on the stories our parents told us or the stories that were understood as we observed, listened to, and interacted with our families, our friends and teachers, our neighbors and colleagues. Each day stories surround us and shape us.
One of the surprising bestselling books of last year is Virginia Evans’s novel “The Correspondent,” a story of 73-year-old Sybil Van Antwerp. The media caught onto Evans’s touching story of almost giving up on having the novel published. Now, we can all be grateful that an acquisitions editor gave it the time of day and opened us up to how stories are part of our lives to the very end and even have repercussions after we’re gone.
“The Correspondent” is told in letters that span Sybil’s life. At the start of the novel, Sybil’s a pretty crusty old lady – judgmental, a bit harsh, and not very likable. As we flip the pages to read her correspondence throughout her lifetime, we learn about her childhood, marriage, divorce, her career, her relationships. We better understand the mistakes of her youth, the moral challenges she faced during her career as a lawyer, and all the mishaps and acts of kindness that occur during a lifetime. In the end, I better understood Sybil and felt compassion for her. All our lives can be this messy combination of experiences that shape who we become. The novel prompts personal reflection. Some customers have told me after reading the book they have gone back to writing cards and letters.
There is a corner of bookcases in Story & Song we call “Be Well” and you’ll find information and wisdom about personal growth, faith, grief and coping, relationships and health. There is a series of keepsake journals that invite us to share our stories. One book in the series is “Mom, I Want to Hear Your Story” and there are others for fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers. Even though my mother and I were extremely close all of my life, it’s almost two decades since her death and I still think of things I wished I knew or better understood.
“Being well” is understanding our stories as well as growing through the authentic stories of others. The two are so closely intertwined. Relationship hardships would be softened if we opened up to our past and spent time understanding our stories and sharing more of them with others. There is remarkable power in story to expand our understanding, compassion, and connection to live a full, engaging, and rewarding life.
Donna Paz Kaufman is the co-founder of Story & Song Center for Arts & Culture on Amelia Island. Since 1992, she and her husband Mark have helped train new owners of bookstore start-ups across the country. Donna has served as the national president of the other WNBA, the Women’s National Book Association.
