Don’t let your kids quit on a negative experience
Brad Fantle, Tiger Rock Martial Arts of Tallahassee
mail@bradfordvillebugle.com
Kids quit for many reasons. Maybe something isn’t going their way, they are losing a game, someone is making fun of them, they aren’t successful their first several attempts and the list could go on.
Whether you allow them to quit or not, most likely there are no long-term benefits of giving up. You are inevitably giving into emotion rather than logic. The short-term escape from this stressful situation is only temporary.
Think about it for a moment. How many teams in sports have had the choice to give up in a competition or fight to the end. Not all, but many have persevered at the end. How many companies have gone bankrupt several times before finally hitting it big and establishing themselves for many years to come. This type of resilience builds like a muscle and gets stronger with time.
Many years ago, I listened to an Olympic gymnast talk about one of the greatest gifts her mom ever gave her. The gift came in the way of a lesson that will stick with her for life.
The story went something like this. When this gymnast was young, around 14 years of age, she had trouble learning a particular move. She was going to need this technique to advance to the next competition level. She spent a lot of energy and time trying to learn this particular move until she finally felt hopeless and told her mom she was ready to quit gymnastics. Her mom listened to her daughter plead her case and explain why she was done. After the young lady was finished, her mom looked at her and said “no.” “You are not allowed to quit on a negative note, that is final.”
Upset and frustrated, the young girl went back to practices and worked on her own and eventually stuck the move. She was very excited and couldn’t wait to tell her mom. Again, her mom listened and could see the excitement and hear the positive energy from her daughter.
“Great,” the mom replied. “Now we can call your coaches and tell them you will be quitting!”
With a puzzled look on her face, the young girl said, “What, no?”
The mom replied, “You said you wanted to quit. Now you may stop training since it was on a positive experience.”
You could only imagine how the young lady felt now. “I don’t want to quit,” she said. “I now know how to do the move I was having trouble on and can move up to the next competition level.”
You can imagine the rest of the story, and now this young lady is in the Olympics with a lesson she will never forget and shapes her success today.Now before you let the word “but” enter your head parents…I understand not every situation is the same, but most of the time they are very similar.
Don’t be afraid to think outside the box, take a little extra time before deciding and ask yourself, “Am I letting my child decide based on emotion or logic?”
The right decisions are not often the path of least resistance but create a path of success in the future.
