{"id":3477,"date":"2017-05-25T13:27:28","date_gmt":"2017-05-25T17:27:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/floridanewsline.com\/Clone2\/?p=3477"},"modified":"2017-06-29T12:39:37","modified_gmt":"2017-06-29T16:39:37","slug":"n-need-lid-pot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/floridanewsline.com\/Clone2\/ponte-vedra\/n-need-lid-pot\/","title":{"rendered":"This n That | Do you need a lid for your pot?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Mims Cushing
\n<\/em>mail@floridanewsline.com<\/em><\/p>\n

Worry. Years ago, when I lived up north, a minister announced in a church service that he was worried about the single people in the audience. He didn\u2019t mean he was concerned about them having an accident in their home. He meant he was sad people were sitting there without a spouse. I was stunned. <\/span><\/p>\n

Wedding season is almost upon us. Many of my single friends enjoy \u201csingle serenity.\u201d They say they are their own best friend. That doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t have friends. They love people. Some had much older siblings and lived in a house that didn\u2019t have a lot of action. Solitude is peaceful to them. <\/span><\/p>\n

In an article by Rebecca Traistor, \u201cSingle by Choice: Why Fewer American Women Are Married Than Ever Before,\u201d she writes marriages aren\u2019t happening so much today. In nine short years, married adults sank from 57 percent in the year 2000 to just 52 percent in 2009. According to the U.S. Census, today single women outnumber married women.<\/span><\/p>\n

Traistor said to Terry Gross of NPR\u2019s Fresh Air that women are choosing \u201cto live singly if an appealing marriage option doesn\u2019t come along.\u201d Women aren\u2019t telling themselves \u201cI guess I better get marriage done before I\u2019m being told I\u2019m an old maid.\u201d Doesn\u2019t the phrase \u201cOld Maid,\u201d sound dated? Not to mention the word spinster. The mother of my friend Jane, when asked if her daughter was married responded, \u201cNo, she\u2019s not. She\u2019s one of the lucky ones.\u201d She said that back in the \u201870s, when it was quite a concept. In Traistor\u2019s new book, \u201cAll the Single Ladies,\u201d she says women give themselves greater independence nowadays because of more parity economically with men \u2014 though females are still far from being on a par with men in terms of salary. <\/span><\/p>\n

Certainly among the older women I know they are less apt to marry again \u2014 especially if they are divorced or widowed. It doesn\u2019t mean that they are rejecting marriage, but that they don\u2019t feel a man will enhance their lives, unless it\u2019s the right man. They don\u2019t feel they need a lid to put on their pot. <\/span><\/p>\n

Traistor gives us the statistic that in 2016 only 20 percent of American girls aged 18 to 29 are married. In 1960 that figure was 60 percent.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope single women don\u2019t worry about married women, any more than the opposite is true. I recognize that some people are hardwired to want to have a man in their lives. Fine. I will not worry about them. But young women are right in thinking they should get out of college and \u201cfind themselves.\u201d Living by yourself for a few years before marriage is something more and more women are doing. And sometimes that\u2019s when they discover, Hey! Living by myself independently is okay. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSettling down\u201d doesn\u2019t have to mean settling down with a spouse. In The Christian Science Monitor, June 14, 2015, author Stephanie Hanes notes in her article,\u201cSingles nation: Why so many Americans are unmarried,\u201d that unmarried women way outnumber those who are married. In today\u2019s world, 31 million are alone, as opposed to 4 million in 1950. The article goes on to say that four out of 10 Americans say \u201cmarriage is becoming obsolete.\u201d But the article ends with the sentence, \u201cMarriage still remains a highly valued state \u2026 It just doesn\u2019t play as large a role \u2026 as it used to.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Worrying about others living alone is not helpful, unless they are ill. But even then, prayer is more helpful than worry. A certain amount of female independence is here to stay. Don\u2019t worry about it. Be Happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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